I BET YOU RECOGNIZE AT LEAST 1 OF THESE!!! IF U LIKE PLEASE FWD.
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1. WHEN YOU SCROLL THROUGH THE COMMENTS SECTION
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2. WHEN IT’S OPENING THE QUAD
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3. WHEN WE NEED SOMEBODY TO WRITE A THINKPIECE ABOUT ‘CRITICS AND THE LONE RANGER’
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4. WHEN THE ADVANCE COMES IN ON YOUR VULGAR AUTEURISM BOOK
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5. WHEN YOU GET THERE AND FIND OUT IT’S A ‘DIGITAL PROJECTION’
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6. WHEN YOU SEE THE PVS FOR THE DISSOLVE
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7. WHEN YOU GET 2 MINUTES OF FACETIME WITH THE GIRL FROM COMPUTER CHESS AT SOUTH BY AND YOU’RE SURE SHE’S INTO YOU
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8. WHEN THE DIRECTOR WHOSE FIRST MOVIE YOU BACKED TURFS OUT
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9. WHEN AN ACQUAINTANCE LANDS AN EDITORIAL GIG
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10. WHEN YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA FEED IS NOTHING BUT TIE-IN THINKPIECES AND LISTICLES TIMED TO THIS WEEK’S TENTPOLE RELEASES
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11. WHEN A SYCOPHANT CORNERS YOU AFTER THE SCREENING
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12. WHEN IT DOESN’T GET PICKED UP FOR EBERT.COM THUMBNAILS OR FANDOR
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13. WHEN A TEXTING-AT-MOVIES ‘DEBATE’ GIVES YOU REACTION PIECE FODDER FOR DAYS
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14. WHEN YOU TRY TO READ MUBI
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15. WHEN YOU FIND A GRAMMATICAL ERROR IN AN ENEMY’S WORK
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16. WHEN A 24-YEAR-OLD OFFERS THEIR TAKE ON AN ‘OVERRATED’ CANON DIRECTOR
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17. WHEN THE EDITOR YOU’VE BEEN WORKING ON FOR MONTHS FINALLY ACCEPTS A PITCH
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18. WHEN YOU READ THE PHRASE ‘MUMBLECORE CLASSIC’
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19. WHEN THE NEW INTERN MENTIONS THAT HE WRITES FILM CRITICISM
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20. WHEN YOU MEET A PROLIFIC FILM BLOGGER IN PERSON
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21. WHEN THE NEW KENT JONES HITS THE STANDS
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22. WHEN AN ANCIENT, ENTRENCHED CRITIC FRANTICALLY DROPS POP CULTURE REFERENCES TO SHOW THEY’RE STILL ‘WITH IT’
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23. WHEN SOMEONE MAKES IT INTO A ‘YOUNG CRITICS’ PROGRAM
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24. WHEN ANY SALARIED POSITION OPENS UP
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25. WHEN SOMEONE YOU DISMISSED AS A ‘NOBODY’ HAS TWICE AS MANY TWITTER FOLLOWERS AS YOU
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Nick Pinkerton is a regular contributor to Sight & Sound magazine and sundry other publications. He lives in Brooklyn, NY. Follow Nick on Twitter @NickPinkerton.